©New Straits Times
(Used by permission)
Going out with a guy you like may no longer mean an evening of fun. It was
reported yesterday that 60 per cent of rape cases happened on dates. EILEEN NG,
JENNIFER GOMEZ, JEEVA ARULAMPALAM and SHUHADA ELIS look at the issue of date
rape and the precautionary measures to take.
KUALA LUMPUR: The next time you go on a date, be
careful of your drinks.
Although most girls have heard this warning often, many have still become
victims of date rapes due to spiked drinks.
It was reported in the New Straits Times yesterday that 60 per cent of reported
rape cases happened on dates — and they are hard to prove in court.
The date–rape drugs not only render the victims unconscious but also make them
unable to recall the incidents.
The drugs, like Rophynol and GHB (Gamma–Hydroxybuty– rate),
are cheap (between RM10 and RM100 per pill), tasteless and colourless — making
it difficult for those on a date to realise that their drinks had been spiked.
Rophynol and GHB’s effects are similar to intoxication, and they take effect
between five and 30 minutes after the drug is ingested.
Another date rape drug is "Fry", a generic term for marijuana cigarettes,
marijuana–laced cigars and cigarettes or cigars soaked in embalming fluid.
The fluid, which contains phencyclidine, causes blurred vision, short–term
memory loss and headaches.
Most date–rape victims are teenagers and women in their 20s, who are socially
active and naive. The perpetrators could either be trusted friends or
acquaintances.
The Kuala Lumpur Hospital sees about 20 to 30 rape cases monthly, with about
five to 10 cases involving teenagers.
Its emergency department and one–stop crisis centre head Datuk Dr Abu Hassan
Asaari Abdullah said most of the cases were either statutory or date rapes.
He said date rape usually involved a girl going out with someone she knew and
getting raped when she was intoxicated or drugged.
Amelia Kaur, the training manager of a counter intelligence company, The
Spycatcher, said victims who consumed spiked drinks would become unconscious and
not remember anything.
Amelia, who conducts seminars on rape prevention, said it was due to this fact
that many victims preferred not to lodge a police report as they did not have
the evidence to support their allegation of rape.
"They won’t remember where it happened, how or with whom," she said.
All Women’s Action Society spokesperson Ho Yock Lin said date–rape victims find
it harder to go to the police than those who had been raped by strangers.
"It is easier to relate the crime to the police, counsellors or a judge when you
have been raped by a stranger, but when the rapist is someone known to the
victim, it is an uncomfortable process.
"Additionally, there could be peer pressure from other friends not to expose the
rapist."
For example, she said, in one of the date–rape cases handled by the society, the
victim was pressured by her parents to marry the rapist, but she refused.
"She was only 19 when it happened," said Ho.
Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) president Ivy Josiah said that response to the
sexual assault helpline set up by the WAO in 2002 had been poor.
"Those who called related incidents that took place one or two years ago.
Obviously, they feel there is a stigma attached to being raped."
WAO social worker Jessie Ang said the organisation received an average of two
calls monthly from rape victims.
Counselling was offered to rebuild their confidence.
"It is common for rape victims to feel ashamed and even dirty. If they want to
take legal action, we will help them with the process," she said.
Betrayed, deceived by those they trusted
KUALA LUMPUR, THU.: They were young and trusting and they ended up being
raped by the very people they thought they could trust.
Samantha (not her real name) never thought she would be at risk when she allowed
a male friend to use her Internet access at home.
The 19–year–old shared a rented apartment with her older sister. She was alone when a former classmate asked if he could use her Internet access to do some work.
Her act of kindness turned into a nightmare when the friend, of more than two years, sexually assaulted her.
"He was stronger physically. He also knew that no one would be around to hear my screams," she said of the incident that happened last April.
After the ordeal, Samantha lodged a report at a nearby police station.
"The officers said they couldn’t entertain such cases as they didn’t have female officers to do the necessary check–up," she said.
Samantha then went to a clinic but was referred to the Kuala Lumpur Hospital.
"I waited for hours in emergency before seeing the doctor and getting admitted."
A report was taken by a police officer in–charge at the ward. However, Samantha said, there has been no follow–up by the police.
Megan (not her real name) was gang–raped while travelling with a boy she fancied but hardly knew.
The boy had invited Megan to go on a trip to Penang with his colleagues and a superior.
The boy then asked her to have sex with his boss who had apparently paid for her trip. The girl, afraid and confused, consented out of guilt for the "free trip". She was gang–raped by the other male colleagues after the boss had raped her.
Lee (not her real name) met up with a childhood friend for drinks but ended up being raped in a public toilet.
Lee, who is in her late 20s, said the incident happened when she went to the toilet at the pub they were in.
He volunteered to accompany her as it was in the early hours of the morning and the place was deserted.
"I felt safer having him along. But the next thing I knew, he pushed me into a cubicle, tore off my clothes and raped me.
"I tried to push him away but he was too strong and I was intoxicated. It was over in minutes but those were the longest minutes of my life."
Lee said he left her in the toilet and she was forced to make her way home by herself, all the while blaming herself for what had happened.
After a month of dealing with the emotional turmoil, Lee decided to lodge a police report, but there, she was dealt another blow.
"The line of questioning was such that they were casting
aspersions as to what I did that led to the rape. They asked me why it took so
long for me to lodge a report and whether I liked the guy. They made it sound as
if it was my fault that I was raped."
Tips from experts — What you can do to protect yourself
1) When going out with someone new, go to a public place so that you are not
alone with your date.
2) Never let yourself be taken to a second location because it gives your
attacker the opportunity to harm you.
3) Never leave your drinks unattended. If you need to do so, finish your drink
before leaving or order a new drink upon returning.
4) Listen to your gut feeling — don’t ignore your intuition if you sense you are
in danger or uncomfortable with your date.
5) No means NO! Sometimes an attacker thinks the girl is "playing hard to get",
so be assertive.
Staying alert with self–defence courses
KUALA LUMPUR, THU.: With crime against women on the rise, many have resorted
to taking personal safety courses.
But instead of conventional martial arts classes, they are
opting for "streetwise self–defence", which is quick, practical and simple to
learn.
According to Malaysian Volunteer Fire and Rescue Association (MVFRA) safety
activist K. Balasupramaniam, or Bala as he is known, the demand for such courses
had been escalating over the past few years.
"I used to hold only three sessions every month but now I have 10."
Bala is the founder of the City Survival Programme, which is specifically
designed for women. The four–hour training programme aims to equip women with
precautionary measures to reduce the risk of an attack.
Bala said "many girls were usually not aware that potential
attackers or rapists could be someone they knew".
"Many girls were raped during dates with their boyfriends."
Meanwhile, the Kickstart Academy offers a "streetwise self–defence" course,
which could take between half a day or up to four months to master, depending on
the individual.
"People do not have much time these days, so we made the course a short one,
unlike other traditional martial arts which may take years to learn," said
director–cum–instructor Azalea Abd Wahab, 31.
The approach focuses on personal safety, prevention and the "executions" needed
when facing dangerous circumstances.
The course uses a learning–by–experience methodology to develop awareness and
create a greater confidence level.
"We teach people how to face attackers and we also educate them on how to
survive," said Kickstart Academy chief instructor Saiful Hamiruzzaman Mohd Hazir.
Snatch–theft victim Syazwani Mohd Zaki, 23, said the course had taught her to be
more alert.
"I believe I’m more prepared now unlike the last time. If something were to
happen to me, I would not be too traumatised because I have learned how to
overcome fear and brace myself."
Another participant, Farah Liyana Rashdi, 24, said "streetwise self–defence" was
different from the martial arts she had learned before.
"This is a quick and practical way of defending yourself. It is easier to learn
compared to other forms of martial arts."
Another participant Shahrul Bariah Maisam, 23, said she had no regrets signing
up for the course as she had learnt that she could avoid placing herself in
danger.
Azalea said the demand for the "streetwise self–defence" course had increased by
20 per cent over the past year.
She said 40 per cent of the participants were victims of snatch theft and rape
cases.
"It is sad because these people learn self–defence only after they have been
attacked.
"People need to change their mentality and think how to prevent these crimes,
rather than wait for something bad to happen before seeking help," she added.