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IT was a during a forum on a Tuesday evening, in the beginning of a year already weighed down and weary from events that revealed the ugly face of Malaysia. There was a war over a word that held deep significance for various Malaysians. Churches had been torched and vandalised.

And here we were in a house of God to talk about the MyConstitution Campaign. When the man stood up and asked his questions, we could see that it was heartfelt; that it was as much a question as a cry of frustration. I could understand the source of the questions, and I could empathise with his sense of disillusionment. I have felt it myself.

Just when you find a sense of belonging, just when you recognise yourself and your life in the rhythm of the lives of the people around you, the Ugliness rears its head again, and suddenly, you are cast in the role of Other. That bewildering and surreal realisation that while you have been making a life and a home, you are being perceived by others in your home as a stranger, a foreigner, a guest. How many Malaysians over the generations have felt this? It is deeply sad in a sense that I could never convey in words.

What did we say to this man who gave vent to questions and feelings most of us have felt at some point or another?

We said many things. We talked about how the constitution does or does not allow for certain things. We talked about the rights enshrined in that document. We talked about the role Malaysians can play to ensure that constitutional provisions are upheld. We talked about the work we were doing under the campaign, and how we would try to reach out not just to the public, but to politicians from both sides of the divide. In short, we spoke of things most of you already know or have heard before.

But if I could speak to him now, this man whose name I regret not taking down, I would also say this: The thing about Ugliness is that – and let’s be honest – it is not easy to stare it in the face, is it? In fact, it takes a certain resolve and steel to do so. What I see in the people sitting here is jadedness.

But I also see steel. You have built lives and homes. You have raised children. You have contributed to your country. You have stared Ugliness in the face many times. You have done all this and remained good people. And even more miraculously, you have retained hope. You must have, or else you would not come here on this weekday night to learn more about a document that you have never seen, and do not feel the presence of in your lives.

I have lived long enough to know that life in Malaysia must sometimes feel like being battered by waves on a shore, and it takes all you have at times merely to fight to stand still, to simply protect what you have from erosion.

There will be people who will say you are right to want to leave, to want your children to migrate, and build a new life in another country.

There will be people who will say that you are a coward if you do so and that your actions prove you don’t belong here and don’t deserve to be called Malaysian.

But in my view, none of what they say should move you, because you are shaped by your experiences, and your reality is different from everyone else’s. You know best what to do for yourself and your family.

So we cannot tell you why you should stay. We cannot say you are wrong to go, because why should you not go, even if Malaysia is a land where milk and honey flows equally to all who need it and all who deserve it?

What we can do is to try to explain to you why we stay. There are economic truths and home truths. We stay because we know no other home. We stay because of parents, children or financial impediments. Or maybe we stay because we want to try to make a difference. We stay because we see that for every person that calls one of us "pendatang", is another who calls us friend or neighbour. We stay because for every house of worship that is torn down is a person who finds God in a room, in a house, in a shed with no electricity or water.

We see that behind every ridiculous comment made by a person with vested interests, behind every bigot who divines the worth of a man through the colour of his skin or his religion, behind politicisation and polemics, are Malaysians who want a country governed by the rule of law, by fundamental liberties due to all, by democratic governance guaranteed under a written constitution.

Or maybe we stay, not because we want to change the world, but because we don’t want the world to change us.

And perhaps we stay because we know that the struggle must go on not just for there to be change, but simply to stand still, and not lose further ground.

And so that is why we are running this campaign. We would like to make a change. But even if we don’t, we’d continue running it, if only to stand still.

I hope you will stay and stand with us, because this country needs all the constitutionalists it can get.

Maha Balakrishnan is the co-deputy chairperson of the Constitutional Law Committee (ConstiLC), Bar Council Malaysia. The views expressed are personal and may not necessarily represent the position of the Bar Council. The ConstiLC is running a two-year nationwide MyConstitution campaign launched in November last year. Contact us at perlembagaanku@gmail.com if you would like to work with us on the campaign.